My First Actual Poem..

Outside of school. I’m not much of a poet but it always intrigued me. I’ve been interested in coming up with my own poems but it wasn’t until now that I’d finally type one.

I’ll have to put up a good fight

If I want to make it through the night.

Living inside my mind,

Leaving reality behind,

Is causing me grief

With this ongoing belief

That nothing will change

But my life is what I want to rearrange.

Something inside of me

Wants to be free

And that is the desire

To light this fire

In order to start

Taking my passions to heart.

I wonder where I went wrong

To wait this long

To decide I can do so much more

Than to suppress the artist in my core.

I will eventually fight these feelings

Of these not so great dealings.

I’m ready to be me

For the whole world to see.

And no more of this sadness

That is leading me to madness.

I’m ready to see the light

And I will win this fight.


I think I’m an “Ace”

I’ve been reading on asexuality for a while. I do believe I fall somewhere in that spectrum. I have no interest in sex and I have absolutely zero interest in romance. Sure, I can find a guy handsome but I can also find a woman beautiful yet to me, they’re the same; I have no sexual attraction to either of them.

I’m not a virgin and I do have a daughter but now that I look back, I have an explanation for the way things happened. I was 23 when I “lost” my virginity and I had what was supposed to be sex with him, only twice. I believe that was a self fulfilling prophecy because I do remember when I was 12, I didn’t want to lose my virginity until I was 23. As I got closer to 23, I got more embarrassed of being that “old” for a virgin.

I remember being embarrassed of being a virgin all throughout highschool because my unattractive and out of shape friends already lost their virginity and when I finally started working at my current job, I didn’t want everyone to know I was still a virgin. I was still embarrassed at my lack of sexual “experience” since my first partner had me twice; the first incident being under a minute. I decided to let a one night stand happen with a guy I had a crush on at the gym I was going to since it’s such a shame for a 24 year old to only have been intimate twice in her life.

Then I turned 25 and I technically only had sex three different times. I was still embarrassed and ashamed of my lack of experience. Then came along a gentleman that would change my life forever. I didn’t think much of him at first but as we started to get to know each other and he was showing genuine interest in what I had to say and displayed manners, I became infatuated with him.

Fast forward to a few months after that, we became intimate. I loved him and he couldn’t do any wrong so I let it happen. That doing didn’t end so well but I did end up having a daughter by him and I don’t regret it at all.

My sperm donor was the last person I was intimate with and it’s been almost three years since we were that close. I have no desire to be intimate with anyone not any desire to have romance in my life. I only enjoy platonic relationships.

No, I’m not heartbroken and waiting for my last partner to mend things with me and I didn’t let him “ruin my views on relationships;” I just really think I’m an ace. I’ve never really had an actual relationship that lasted at least a year and I’ve only had three partners in my life. I don’t crave sex or romance. I may say things in jest about an attractive man, but I don’t act out on it. I’ve only had one crush since my last partner and I do believe the cause of the crush was not only to have something to look forward to at work but also the taboo factor in it (which I might mention in a later blog).

Mysterious Footprints in the Satellite

The place the workers at my job get their money for their duties is called “Satellite 123.” Only employees are allowed in that area and it’s attached to the cashier’s area (guests/ customers are allowed to go to the cashier’s, just not the satellite).

I’m sure you can imagine that there’s a lot of traffic that goes through the satellite since it’s a 24/7 establishment and there are tons of departments that make their way in and out of Satellite 123. Anyway, last April of 2017, a co-worker and I were in the satellite; I do believe we were both replenishing our banks when he asked “what’s that?”

I looked down to see those footprints. Yes, I enjoy entertaining the thought of there being things we cannot explain but I also like playing skeptic with these sorts of things. We’ve never seen them before and I tried cleaning the footprints away with an alcohol wipe but it didn’t go away. There were a few other partial footprints in that room, almost as if the person/thing the footprints belong to was dancing.

I wasn’t able to get more pictures of all the foot action; in fact, this isn’t my picture that I took, it is a superior’s image. Employees aren’t allowed to have their phone on them during work hours except for superiors being the exception.

Now, one can wonder a few things about those footprints. 1) Why are there bare feet prints when employees are dressed at all times? And 2) why won’t they go away? It is a small room but it must have like 15 cameras in there (not an exaggeration, since that’s where the money is at) surely one of those cameras would’ve caught an employee being barefoot in there yet no one’s heard of an employee being barefoot. And even then, it still didn’t answer why they won’t go away.

My place of work is notorious for having creepy stories as I’m sure you read the blog I typed up about the “Chonies” the other day. Hmm, I guess we’ll never know how those footprints got there.

Scary Stories? What are Chonies?

Every region had their Urban legends. I have yet to see anything but I hear stories from family and friends.

This one in particular is about a short, hairy, black humanoid creature who’s been described as a black Cousin It or almost like a little gorilla called a “Chonie.” There are variations of how these chonie creatures are manifested; I’ve heard that they’re sent out to you if someone who has ill will to you sends them and I’ve heard that if you find a sack with straw or hair and other miscellaneous stuff in it, don’t pick it up because you’ll then “own” a chonie. Another thing I was told about these creatures is that if you’re walking in the dark and hear a whistle, don’t whistle back because they’ll take you God knows where.

I’m sure we’ve established that these are some pretty weird and creepy mother effers. I have yet to see one but I’ve got plenty of buddies who’ve seen some. In case you’re wondering where they’ve originated, well, these stories come from my friends of the Pascua Yaqui tribe.

I have a semi experience with them.. back on May 27, 2017. So, the place I work (which I won’t mention but if you do enough research to figure it out, good for you) is a 24/7 establishment with the exception of a few days out of the year so the tribe can practice their traditions; that year, I was working day shift with the hours being 6AM-2PM on that day. I’m in the building and I get quite a surprise from the security guard at the front entrance and a custodian who had got done wiping and cleaning the doors and windows. They had pointed out what appeared to be small hand smudges on the door just below the door handle. There couldn’t have been a child since anyone under 21 years of age isn’t allowed inside and it was barely just after 6 in the morning. Chonie, maybe?

IDK but I like playing skeptic with these kinds of things. Maybe the smudges were in the door from hours earlier when the restaurant was open (the only exception for a child to enter is if accompanied by someone aged 21+ and on their way to a restaurant) and the custodian didn’t notice them. Or maybe it was one of those godforsaken hairy creatures that everyone should avoid.

I took a picture of the door; I’ll let you be the judge.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention you can “get” one to do your evil biddings like IDK go after an ex, your douchebag teacher, or maybe even your hard ass boss, IDK but if you choose to make one go after anyone, they get super clingy from what I’ve been told. If you don’t pay attention to them, they can go after your pets or people you love because they wanna be your world. Sure, you may “get back” at someone who’s done you wrong with a chonie but it might backfire on you and they go after your loved ones because they feel neglected by you, not a very good deal in my opinion.

A Yaqui would be able to tell these kinds of stories 10 times better than I can but I hope you get the gist of what I’m saying.

#Legend #PascuaYaqui #Chonie #Stories