I’m Sorry

I’m sorry I’m not good enough

I’m sorry I don’t reach your expectations

I’m sorry I’m not perfect

I’m sorry I didn’t follow your path

I’m sorry I always mess up

I’m sorry I can’t seem to make you happy

I’m sorry I don’t share your beliefs

I’m sorry I don’t think like you

I’m sorry I don’t agree with you all the time

I’m sorry I can’t be in two places at once

I’m sorry I can’t work and do everything else

I’m sorry I’m not like my sister

I’m sorry there’s something wrong with me

I’m sorry I can never please you


Thoughts from my past have risen

Sometimes I can’t be forgiven

My words went unsaid

Now all I feel is dread

All I do is anticipate

These feelings of hate

Why wasn’t I good enough?

I’ve done a bunch of stuff

Not only for just me

But also my family

I’ve sacrificed my a lot

Just to hear what I am not

I thought I was doing okay

Until I was antagonized everyday

It made me feel unappreciated

And that’s when I hated

Someone close to me

Because of how they treated me

They only looked for my flaws

Even though I put my life on pause

So they could love comfortably

While I was treated ungratefully

But I forgive the past

Because that treatment didn’t last.


Just some thoughts I’ve had in the past. I won’t get into too much detail, yet about who exactly this was about but I can thankfully say it’s not like that anymore.

No Heart (Poem)

How do I live when I don’t have a heart

The life I’m living is tearing me apart

How can I get through this terrible day?

Nothing about this makes me want to stay

I’m doing the same thing over for no reason

I originally hoped it’ll only last for a season

All this has done is make me feel numb

But I keep doing it daily, making me dumb

How can I continue living with no heart?

I’ve seem to have lost it, or it fell apart

What a wonderful day, but I choose to waste it

And I wonder why bitter is all I’ve tasted

I wonder if I could ever get lucky again

Because I know this is not exactly the end

I have better choices that I know I can make

But having a heart and drive is what it’ll take

I’ve seem to have lost my will and my heart

And for that reason is why I can’t start

Will I ever be able to just get away

Because none of this make me want to stay

I’ve been there and done with no results

But at least I was able to see and revise my faults

Life can be fun, even I can admit

So, I must have a heart so I can live it

Where has it gone? I keep asking myself why

But to no avail the search has made me cry

Maybe I’m looking in the wrong direction

Or maybe it’s in the mirror, my reflection

I cannot find it, where has it gone?

Maybe I’ll receive it when my race is won

I’m not much of a runner, I can’t keep going

But I’m eager to find my heart is what I’m showing

I think I’ve found it, but not where I expected

Somewhere, internally is where it was detected

I think I am living now that I found my heart

I’ve always had it right from the start

F Up (Poem) *STRONG LANGUAGE*

Tsk tsk tsk.. I’m sure this poem is self explanatory.


I fucked up

I made a mistake

I’m fed up

With the choices I make

I fucked up

I’m sorry for that

You’re tied up

From my mishap

You fucked up

Why’d you do it?

Now we’re hung up

By all your bull shit

You fucked up

What happened there

I’m shaken up

By your affair

We fucked up

We neglected each other

I just want to make up

And not be a bother

We fucked up

In different ways

Let’s hang it up

This is just a phase

No one’s perfect

We never are

Let’s not neglect

And stay up to par

We mended things up

I’m glad we did

Even though we’re broken up

We’re not livid

We mended things up

We saw eye to eye

Our oneness is up

And we grew from this lie

Completed Zombie Goldfish of the Zombie Kitty Project

I’ll admit it’s not the best clay work but you gotta give me some credit for being a first timer plus I’m working around a toddler who wants to put her hands on everything even though she has her own sketch pad with crayons and a load of toys.

You can see an earlier post of the Goldfish Zombie here: Zombie Kitty Project: Goldfish Zombie

I enjoyed making it. There will be more zombies to come. You can see my original here: Zombie Kitty


Stay tuned for more zombie goodness. I’m eager to tell the story but of course I must iron out the plot and details. Enjoy and thanks for your support. 😸😸😸

A Couple of Poems

This is all meaningless

Everything’s all pointless

So why live in stress?

I should be happy

But it seems far from me

To live in harmony

I choose this disease

Because I didn’t seize

Better opportunities

My life’s at stake

When I chose to take

The money I’d make

Life is so much more

Than just an awful chore

And I can’t ignore

How I spend my time

For just a dime

It should be a crime

To not live fully

Or do things happily

This will change, hopefully.


What you did is unforgivable

I can’t believe you’re this horrible

You seemed so genuine

But you’re not a friend

You’re ugly on the inside

Because you have too much pride

To own up to your mistakes

And do whatever it takes

To make things right

Instead you wanted to fight

And ignore everything you’ve done

Because you wanted to have fun

You’re an awful human being

Who only intended to sting

What you left behind

For a temporary bind

See you in the next life

When you don’t have so much strife

Characters I Came Up With 8 Years Ago

I came up with some pervy, little dude by the name of “Dave.” He’s a metalcore kinda guy who’s in a band and doesn’t like school much. I was supposed to draw more of him, years ago and make some comics but I just let time slip through my fingers. I should’ve done it back then when I didn’t have a monster of a daughter to get into everything I’m doing. 😝 Oh well here it is now.

Demi, or “D,” is another character I came up with around eight years ago, too. She is in Dave’s band and you’ll see more of her.. eventually.

Here are all the members to the band. You’ll be seeing more of them in the future. 😄

Duende (Poem)

https://nikkropolis.tumblr.com/post/180369745554/duende


This poem is about one of the creepy stories my mom told me from her youth. She told me she and her older brothers were in their room when her brother Larry (may he rest in peace) was looking out the window and saw their brother Martin. Larry then proceeded to ask Martin what he was doing outside but Martin, who was sitting on the bed, fixing a radio responded “what are you talking about?” All of my mom’s brothers looked outside to see a Martin lookalike but only with sharp teeth and soulless eyes. It was compared to a “duende.”

The Scarecrow (Poem)

There you are

Close not far

Waiting patiently

To come alive next to me

I had no clue

‘Til I looked at you

An inanimate object come alive

I was lucky to survive

The fear I felt

When I was dealt

Your loathsome stare

I could hardly bare

Knowing you were in the yard

And there was someone I had to guard

She is who I protected

When it was you I detected

When I went to check again

It was like you weren’t there, my friend

I lit my flashlight down the row

And saw a malevolent scarecrow

I don’t know what you truly were

But you shouldn’t be alive, we concur

No one believed me initially

But you were a reality

I’m glad you are gone

Because you’re the type to cause wrong

You aren’t welcomed here

So stay far away, not near


This poem is based on a story my mom told me when she was in her youth. It was night time when she said one of her brother’s friends was outside with my Nana hanging clothes on the clothing line. What had happened was he was playing around with the flashlight and when he lit up one of the poles, there was a scarecrow hanging at the end and looked up at him. They didn’t have a scarecrow in the yard; my mom told me she heard the friend scream and he was legitimately scared. So, I typed up this poem from his point of view based on what my mom told me.

Baby Gizmo

This is Gizmo. She’s my “model” for my hats for cats portion of this blog. My family raised her since she was two days old. She was born on April 17th, 2013 behind a shed next to my Nana’s house. We don’t know if her mother abandoned her and her two siblings who didn’t make it or if she passed away 😿 which I hope not but my Nana told my mom she heard kittens crying so, naturally we rescued the kittens.

We had her in a pet taxi with the heater on because she was too young to keep her body heat stable on her own. We fed her KMR every two hours and would be sure to stimulate her so she can go potty. She was too small to drink from a bottle at the time which is why we used a dropper to feed her. I can still remember seeing her ears twitch when she’d feed.

Now she’s big and spoiled. Everyone loves her. 😸 She’s a bratty cat, too but she’s part of the family. I remember when I was in the early months of my pregnancy, she’d lay on my belly like she knew there was someone growing inside of me. Pets aren’t just pets; they’re family. 😸