I’m Sorry

I’m sorry I’m not good enough

I’m sorry I don’t reach your expectations

I’m sorry I’m not perfect

I’m sorry I didn’t follow your path

I’m sorry I always mess up

I’m sorry I can’t seem to make you happy

I’m sorry I don’t share your beliefs

I’m sorry I don’t think like you

I’m sorry I don’t agree with you all the time

I’m sorry I can’t be in two places at once

I’m sorry I can’t work and do everything else

I’m sorry I’m not like my sister

I’m sorry there’s something wrong with me

I’m sorry I can never please you

Thoughts from my past have risen

Sometimes I can’t be forgiven

My words went unsaid

Now all I feel is dread

All I do is anticipate

These feelings of hate

Why wasn’t I good enough?

I’ve done a bunch of stuff

Not only for just me

But also my family

I’ve sacrificed my a lot

Just to hear what I am not

I thought I was doing okay

Until I was antagonized everyday

It made me feel unappreciated

And that’s when I hated

Someone close to me

Because of how they treated me

They only looked for my flaws

Even though I put my life on pause

So they could love comfortably

While I was treated ungratefully

But I forgive the past

Because that treatment didn’t last.

Just some thoughts I’ve had in the past. I won’t get into too much detail, yet about who exactly this was about but I can thankfully say it’s not like that anymore.


Ruined My Life (Poem)

I think I ruined my life

I’ve never felt so much strife

I cannot fight this feeling of regret

My soul is in so much debt

I feel like I cannot go on

This race I’m running cannot be won

I cannot see a better day

I just want this sadness to go away

Why is this feeling lingering so much?

It has me feeling out of touch

I cannot seem to make things better

I am becoming the biggest regretter

I cannot stop feeling down

It makes me look like a big clown

I wish there were a way to make it leave

I guess the first step is to start to believe

I can’t go on living like this

It has me feeling very lifeless

I just want to find true harmony

But happiness looks very far from me

When will things start to look good

Probably when my feelings are better understood

I cannot fathom that this is living

Now is the time to start forgiving

I’ve made my decision to let go of strife

Now I’ve realize I didn’t ruin my life

To My Daughter (Poem)

You’re everything to me

That’s why I live happily

You’re one I’ll always love

Even when push come to shove

You’re my shining star

Even when better times seem far

You’re everything and more

And who I absolutely adore

You’re my motivation

When I’m in stagnation

You’re who a mother needs

Because you’re the best of my seeds

You are my heart

So we’ll never be apart

You make my life fulfilling

Even if the glass is spilling

With you, I have it all

And I cannot fall

No Heart (Poem)

How do I live when I don’t have a heart

The life I’m living is tearing me apart

How can I get through this terrible day?

Nothing about this makes me want to stay

I’m doing the same thing over for no reason

I originally hoped it’ll only last for a season

All this has done is make me feel numb

But I keep doing it daily, making me dumb

How can I continue living with no heart?

I’ve seem to have lost it, or it fell apart

What a wonderful day, but I choose to waste it

And I wonder why bitter is all I’ve tasted

I wonder if I could ever get lucky again

Because I know this is not exactly the end

I have better choices that I know I can make

But having a heart and drive is what it’ll take

I’ve seem to have lost my will and my heart

And for that reason is why I can’t start

Will I ever be able to just get away

Because none of this make me want to stay

I’ve been there and done with no results

But at least I was able to see and revise my faults

Life can be fun, even I can admit

So, I must have a heart so I can live it

Where has it gone? I keep asking myself why

But to no avail the search has made me cry

Maybe I’m looking in the wrong direction

Or maybe it’s in the mirror, my reflection

I cannot find it, where has it gone?

Maybe I’ll receive it when my race is won

I’m not much of a runner, I can’t keep going

But I’m eager to find my heart is what I’m showing

I think I’ve found it, but not where I expected

Somewhere, internally is where it was detected

I think I am living now that I found my heart

I’ve always had it right from the start

Visitors (Poem)

When I awoke

I was so shook

Seeing you stand there

With a malevolent glare

Was I just dreaming?

When I saw your ship beaming?

Will you take me away?

Will I not see another day?

I suspect I’ll be an experiment

And far away, I’ll be sent

That night, I was lucky

That they didn’t abduct me

I’ll never forget that night

It sure gave me such a fright

Seeing those grey humanoids

Has given me all sorts of paranoids

Safe is something I’ll never know

Because they can come up and show

At any time they please

And they’ll do it with such ease.

That’s All I Can Say (Poem)

Everyday I’m fighting

Because I’ve lost the sighting

On my purpose to live

Myself, I can’t forgive

Because I’m depressed

And also stressed

With what I should “be”

Which makes me unhappy

I can’t find the light

And I’m losing the fight

To my inner demons

I barely have any reasons

To continue to go on

I want to be gone

Away from society

So they can’t look down at me

I want to feel alive

And also thrive

But how can move along

When I am not that strong

I need to have the will

And a purpose to fulfill

I sometimes hate being me

Because sadness is my only company

I let it get this way

That’s all I can say

… (Poem)

Why go on when there’s nothing to gain

All this is doing is causing me pain

But if I stop now, I surely remain

In a miserable life and going insane

I want to change my lifestyle

So, I can feel it to be worthwhile

But it’s very hard to even crack a smile

When I’m clearly living in denial

Of how much life is even worth living

Because of how much time I’m giving

To a purpose that isn’t my own

It’s like my life is a loan

To things that make me groan

In this life, I feel so alone

Why’d I let it get this way

I’ve let my life go astray

For that, it’s causing dismay

And I feel it day to day

I’ve got to get myself back on track

Because lately all I’m feeling is lack

And everything is out of whack

Because I haven’t got my old self back

“Where are you?” I ask

I’m hiding behind a mask

Taking it off, I’m struggling to do

And showing my true self is what I ensue

From these experiences, I’ve become anew

But what does it even mean to you?

Loser (Poem)

I’ve been here before

It’s nothing to be proud of

But I cannot ignore

My lack of self love

Because I feel like a failure

I’m good for nothing

And I have to endure

All the self loathing

It’s something I can’t help

Because I feel it daily

These are the cards I’ve dealt

I’m not living gaily

How can I live better

When I want to just die

Because I’m also a debtor

Which is why I break down and cry

It’s all my fault

Things are this way

That my life is at a halt

And I can’t see a better day

I’m the one to blame

Why I’m unhappy

And feel this much shame

Like my life’s a joke, so sappy